Goal Weight

Where does your magic number come from?

Is it your high school weight? The amount you weighed on your wedding day? The amount your favorite super model weighs? Some random number that you think you must get to? What your best friend weighs?

For most of us, we are trained from a young age that the number on the scale defines us. I think that a lot of people fail at healthy eating or "dieting" because they have unrealistic goals for their bodies and just give up when they cannot attain that goal.

Our bodies change from year to year. Childbearing changes our bodies. Hormones change our body shape. Not every woman is blessed to be the same size through out their life. That doesn't mean we suck, or we are deformed or we need to work harder if we are not thin. We should want to be healthy.

When I realized I would never be able to get to the 138lbs I was in high school, it was at first depressing. But then it hit me- I don't have THAT much weight to lose! Whoo hoo! heehee
I embraced my curves and full bosom. Those things are heavy and without surgery- not going anywhere. I am proud of my thick thighs and wide hips. Those, too, add some heft to that scale. But that number I see glaring up at me is not who I am. No one knows what I weigh. I don't have a sign on my back with a number. People see me for my smile and sarcasm, my great hair, and humor. Would they treat me different if that scale number were different? Nope.

Spend some time looking at your magic number. Do you need it? I don't have one any more.  I still have goals... I have a pair of jeans I want to fit into. And those jeans are not a size 2. They are a 16. Still plus size. But what I know works for my body. Forget all the charts and measurements that dictate what you should weigh. They never take into consideration the weight of your breasts, the width of your hips, the junk in the trunk. Some things are genetic. I cant change these parts of my body completely. I can a little. I can firm, and lose some fat. But I will never have Marilyn Monroe legs. Ever. And I am ok with that. I want good numbers when the doctor runs the tests, I want to be healthy and active and be able to run with my 5 year old. I don't want to spend my life focusing on something I can never be.

Focus more on being healthy. Less on the scale.



  1. I love it! Thank you, Carolyn! We sure do get obsessed with a number & when I started the FMD, I had to pick one. Who knows if I'll be able to get there in this body now? But I'm certainly learning to calm down about the number & that feels better, so thanks for reinforcing that. Also, thank you for your generosity of time in sharing these wonderful recipes!

  2. So well written​! I agree with you whole heartedly. I always thought I needed to be 150lb but as I started to lose weight, felt very comfortable at 175. Unfortunately, I'm trying to get life insurance and they feel I should be around 155. It's very frustrating but I'm doing my best and your recipes are a huge help.

  3. Yay Carolyn! I love your blog and recipes. Everyone on FMD/fb seems to love them too. Congratulations. Short of hiring you to come prep and cook for us-this is the next best thing. Thank you.

  4. Thank you! The breasts, hips and thighs are all there. I never took these into consideration when I hop on the scale!
    Embracing me

  5. Hi. This is Lynn and I just read what you wrote and can definitely relate. I randomly checked out your site because someone, probably on the FMD group, recommended your hamburger steak recipe. At one point, I put it in my iPhone "notes" and came a cross it. Here I am. I struggle with weight too and finally turning a corner in terms of not being so concerned with that special "number" we all seem to focus on. Anyway - the whole family loved the recipe. Thank you. I will check out more soon.

  6. forgot to leave you my contact info. Lcarol_brown@yahoo.com


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